Mathom House

An archive of threads from the good old days of TORn …

Scenes from the Hat – 2002 (10)

on December 30, 2009

Original Post

SCENES FROM THE HAT: How Narsil was *really* broken (7/15/02)

  • Elendil – “Isilduuuuur! Have you been shaving with Narsil again?” (No Text)Silverlode
  • “I told him to ‘protect it with guards’ but he heard ‘break it into shards.’ (No Text)esiwmas
    • Palantir static? Don’t let this happen to you. 😉 (No Text)esiwmas
      • If the Sprint guy had been there at the Cracks of Doom —RosieLass
        We could have avoided this whole silly misunderstanding. 😀

        • Hehehe – I am just imagining it! —Enchantress
          Him shaking his head and offering Frodo a cell phone.

          • I was thinking even further back than that. —RosieLass
            Sauron, Elendil, Gil-Galad all sitting on a sofa looking mournful.
            Sauron: What I said was “Would you like a cup of tea?” and they thought I said “Domination of all Middle-earth…muahahaha!”

            • Heh heh…considering the latest MIB-themed ad, it could happen! (No Text)Silverlode
  • Isildur to Anarion: What do you mean the Key to the City must have been buried with Dad? Well, let me try to pick the lock with this . . . (No Text)Annael
    • LOL … “with Dad” (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • How was Isildur to know Richard Roeper had a metal plate in his head? (No Text)Nazgûy
    • Hmmm…..that WOULD explain a lot. (No Text)Silverlode
    • *bows to Nazgûy* I quit! You win! Perfect!! (No Text)Wídfara
  • Isildur tried to use it to cut through a frozen package of peas. (No Text)luinfalathiel
    • Gondor has no peas. Gondor needs no peas. (No Text)karen the magnificent
  • Whoops! Butter fingers! (No Text)Idril Celebrindal
  • Elrond: Isildur, follow me! Isildur: Up there!? Why don’t I just… CLING!! Damn!… OK, wait up! (No Text)Earendil The Mariner
  • Due to the ME embargo on foreign steel imports, Telchar had to melt down his favourite Mustang V8 (No Text)Nazgûy
  • Manufacturing defect: Elendil must have missed the Consumer Product Safety Administration recall notice. —Wídfara
    It might have been wrought by Telchar in the deeps of time, but obviously he needed some quality controls at his plant.
  • Elendil ran into Indiana Jones: “That’s not a knife – THIS is a knife!” (No Text)Ufthak
    • Er… Crocodile Dundee? Indy would just’ve shot him, I think! (No Text)Greenwood Hobbit
  • Mrs. Elendil kept using it to dial the phone so she wouldn’t chip her nail varnish. (No Text)RosieLass
  • Smaug used it to get a little dwarf from between his teeth. (No Text)Wídfara
  • Some long-gone Gamgee grabbed it ‘cos he thought it’d be a good leek-dibber (No Text)
  • Elendil was carving graffiti at Weathertop… (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
    • “To: Isildur. Re: New family policy. From now on, nobody borrows Narsil.” (No Text)Wídfara
      • “To: Isildur. Re: New family policy. From now on, nobody borrows Nar–*chink* Damn!” (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
        • On second thought, anybody need to borrow this? What about my weedeater? (No Text)Wídfara
  • Isildur lent it to the folks remaking “Branded” —Wídfara
    Remember? 60s TV show? Chuck Connors? The opening scene? *sigh* I *am* the only one who remembers that show. If an AARP application comes in the mail today, it’ll be official. I *am* old!!!

    • “Branded! Scorned as the one who ran…” —Mrs. Boromir
      What do you do if you’re branded, and you know you’re a man?
    • I can (barely) remember this show. But then, I should since I’m older than you……….
      • Oh, dear! ; – ) —Wídfara
      • “Hmmm. THIS would make a good Narsil.”
  • Gandalf used it to try to pry open Lobelia’s pocketbook. (No Text)Wídfara
  • No Strider! Those trolls have turned to…. stone. Too late. (No Text)Altaira
  • Sam used it as a jack when his cornfield car had a flat tire. (No Text)Wídfara
  • Merry told Elendil that the palantír had a chewy nougat center. (No Text)Wídfara
    • Lots of time and dimension travel involved in this thread 🙂 (No Text)Wingfooted
  • He lent it to Beowulf. (No Text)Wingfooted
  • Gandalf tried to stick it in a stone… (No Text)Gaffer
    • *snert* (No Text)Altaira
  • Well … Lancelot was guarding this bridge, see —Ugly Troll
    and Aragorn got so peeved that he couldn’t move him out of the way that he called on the power of the sword and …. Oh wait, that’s the wrong movie :o/
  • “Hey guys, watch this!” (No Text)Dolaurwen
  • Aren’t those also… —Gaffer
    the famous last words of many a redneck?

    • *ktm puts on her Carolina shirt, —karen the magnificent
      sets down her beer, climbs out of her double-wide, and proceeds to beat the tar out of all the da*& yankees on the board* *WHAPWHAPWHAP* Woohoo! All I need now is some chaw and I’d be right nigh’ as happy as a dead pig layin’ in the sunshine!
    • “redneck” is a state of mind —Gaffer
      not a place of residence.
      In fact, it no longer even has anything to do with the color of your neck. Look for the guy in the pickup truck with a shotgun rack, and he probably has long hair these days, (thus preventing neck sunburn) even though thirty years ago, a man with long hair was often considered by rednecks to be target practice.

      • no, no, no. Not long hair. —karen the magnificent
        A mullet.

        • Your pigs are happy when they’re dead? —Mrs. Boromir
          And please note that the Darwin Award (regarding my post) has been won by northerners, southerners, easterners and westerners alike. Now hand me that snoose can.

          • only if they’re in the sunshine. —karen the magnificent
            When we first moved down south a man my father worked with said that, and even though it makes no sense, it was so peculiar that my whole family still says it regularly. And your exception is noted, I will not beat the tar out of you (er, unless I go berserker, which has been known to happen from time to time). Maybe you’d better just lay down next to the pig and play possum just to be sure…;p
      • Actually, as rednecks are concerned —Aier Voronwer
        it tends to be something like,
        “Hey y’all! Look’it Jim Bob! He he he! That’s a good one Jim Bob… Jim Bob? You okay Jim Bob?”
      • Actually, I believe the complete phrase —Morwen
        is “hold my beer and watch this.”
      • I believe that —Dolaurwen
        they’re the famous last words of many people in general.

        • Darwin award-winners (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • “Let’s play cricket!” (No Text)luinfalathiel
  • I TOLD YOU, the Ginsu knife was stronger… (No Text)Enchantress
    • Ouch! You *stole* mine! —Wídfara
      I’m very sure I thought of this first, Enchantress. *mumble mumble mumble* ; – )

      • You can have the disposable, dishwasher safe grater. *snert* (No Text)Enchantress
  • Elendil to Isuldur: I told you not to let the movers pack the family heirlooms! (No Text)Morwen
  • Isildur borrowed it to break into the liquor cabinet. (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • Elendil at the Battle: “See, now I just jump on the hilt, and that pumpkin will fly right through Sauron’s window…..” (No Text)Wingfooted
  • Aragorn lent it to my neighbor. *Everything* you lend him comes back broken. (No Text)Wídfara
    • Hah! I’ve got one of those neighbors. —Gaffer
  • “I TOLD you not to drink so many pints!” (No Text)Frodosgurl
  • “Here – I can get that bottle cap off for you . . .” (No Text)Annael

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