Mathom House

An archive of threads from the good old days of TORn …

Scenes from the Hat – 2002 (8)

on December 30, 2009

SCENES from the HAT: Little known facts about Farmer Maggot – —Mrs. Boromir (7/7/02)

  • Keeps crop of… —Linnet Brandybuck
    …”special” mushrooms a secret (between him and Bombadil) in hopes of preventing further raids from Buckland…
  • His dogs’ REAL names are Skippy, Fluffy, and Bingo. (No Text)ceremony
    • And they’re poodles. (No Text)L. Ron Halfelven
  • Drives Mrs. Maggot crazy by using discussion board acronyms IRL. —Wídfara
    Mrs. Maggot: Dear, did you take the trash out?
    Farmer Maggot: ROFLMAO! btw, IRL you’re a hotty! Oh, brb! *hears email indicator and runs to computer, tripping over dog*

    • so I’m stupid but – brb? What???? translation, please! (No Text)greendragon
      • be right back… —DiamondTook
        where’s CB with her handy dandy translation thingie???
    • *snarf* —DiamondTook
  • Gandalf’s “Fly, you fools” is really a veiled reference to Maggot’s emerging role in the Fellowship. —Wídfara
    Sadly, the Fellowship didn’t pick up on it, as it was *too* veiled. Much like this attempted joke.
    • They didn’t pick up on it even when —Leto
      they were all confronted by that lovely pile of dung on the road!
    • *watches pun fly over TORnsib’s head* —Nessimë
      You really are ‘Raid’ing the pun cupboard.
      Farmer Maggot – christened ‘Louis’?
      (not sure if you’ll understand all this… 🙂

      • You are, of couse… —Watson
        …speaking of the original “Fly,” and not that thing Jeff Goldblum did…
      • *teeny voice* help me!! (No Text)DiamondTook
      • *scrunches up face really hard* —Wídfara
        “Farmer Maggot – christened ‘Louis’? (not sure if you’ll understand all this… :)”
        Oh, I *so* want to get it! *wonders if I stare at the words long enough they’ll reveal their hidden groaner* Is it a Kiwi thing? Or am I really a simpleton? (That last question is sorta rhetorical. You don’t have to answer.) : – )

        • No… it’s not even *really* funny… —Nessimë
          When I was little, the Raid ad (Raid = flyspray) had a character called ‘Louis’, and there’s a little jingle along the lines of…
          “Say ‘bye bye’ to Louis the fly!”
          …Fly you fools…
          Heh. *sigh* 🙂

          • *falls over in a dead faint* —Wídfara
            Oh, the Raid-soaked paths we’ll follow in pursuit of our puns. Good one, Nessimë. And, now, I’ll have the (choose one) pleasure/pain/misfortune of taking that to my bed, as I’m heading to dreamland. (Please, Eru, don’t let me dream of this thread. And make Mrs. B not be so evil with her future rich, wonderful, exhausting StfH.)
            • Oh my… —Watson
              Ancient as I am, even I don’t remember that one! But I remember that the son of the original Fly was named Louis (pronounced the French way, of course). The things our brains come up with…
      • *taps forehead* think think think —DiamondTook
        nope… I’m at a loss too…
    • That is one of the worst puns…. —Watson
      …I have ever seen. Which, of course, means it’s good. Clever!
      • *bows, wipes a large bead of sweat from brow* —Wídfara
        Whew! I thought I had delved too greedily and too deep into the pun barrel. Thanks, Watson!
        • You’re welcome —Watson
          Maggots, flies… yeah, I come from farm stock, where such things are all too common in the pasture. Terrible pun — and I’m glad it was deliberate! I have seen things like that done by accident in newspaper headlines! 🙂
  • He and Tom were drinking buddies- they loved to watch football together. (No Text)°Angelica°
  • he has a secret storage room for carrots (No Text)Frodosgurl
  • makes obscure references to fantasy novels at the dinner table. (No Text)Dolaurwen
  • When completely alone, experiments with parting his hair on the other side. (No Text)Wídfara
  • He was raised by Cave-trolls! *winks to DT* (No Text)Earendil The Mariner
  • Has an “outie” (No Text)Wídfara
    • ROTFLMAO! (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • he has a thing for Aragorn…. stridersGURL
  • Shot J.R. —Mrs. Boromir
    Anyone get this old one?
    • Woke Bobby up from his dream. (No Text)Wídfara
      • Married Kristin (No Text)DiamondTook
        • Backstabbed Cliff Barnes. (No Text)Wídfara
          • Gave Momma a heart attack (No Text)DiamondTook
            • That would be “Miss Ellie Southworth Ewing (Farlow)” to *you*! —Wídfara
              Named, obviously, for “elanor”: A golden, star-shaped flower, with a name meaning sun-star. Sam Gamgee first came across it in Lórien, and named his eldest daughter, Elanor Gardner, from it.
              (See how I pulled us back around to LOTR! Just in time, apparently, before the OT police come in to haul our Dallas-loving #$@*es away!)

              • *eyes wide with wonder* —DiamondTook
                You are truly brilliant, Wid!! That was amazing!!!
                • Confessions from the Hat: —Wídfara
                  I got it from jrewing.com. I carry around a lot of arcana (that’s THREE, Ataahua and Scout B!), but, alas, not all the married names of Miss Ellie. Mad?
                  • Are you mad? —DiamondTook
                    Yes, i believe you’re quite off your duff! am i mad? well, I’ve been known to repair a few watches in my day (Mustard? let’s not be silly!) Angry?? Never!! :):):)
  • Runs amok every Friday night at The Floating Log in Frogmorton. (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
    • Then goes on ad nauseam about how Oswald acted alone. (No Text)Wídfara
      • LOL! (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • He took the Pepsi Challenge. Chose Jif. (No Text)Wídfara
    • LOL!! His mama’s so skinny she can go hang gliding on a Dorito! (No Text)DiamondTook
  • Mr and Mrs Maggot wear the same underwear. (No Text)Pipe to Nul
    • Not at the same time, I hope! (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
      • Have you heard the term “Hot Swapable”? (No Text)Pipe to Nul
        • Have *you* heard the term… —Wídfara
          …YUUUUCK!
        • *steps back* Nooo, and I’m not sure I want to. ; ) (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
          • crazy foreigners with their odd hobbies… (No Text)DiamondTook
  • He’s “The Farmer in the Dell” (No Text)Eorlinga
    • “The ‘shroom stands alone, the ‘shroom stands alone…” (No Text)DiamondTook
  • He’s a Shriner! (No Text)luinfalathiel
    • He’s the Potentate of this here Shriner Temple! (No Text)DiamondTook
  • Is president of the ME PEF club (No Text)Herself the Elf
  • Is a snob who likes it pronounced ‘Ma-go’, if you please….. —greendragon
    Like ‘Hyacinth Bucket’ (“It’s BOUQUET”) for anyone who’s ever seen ‘Keeping up Appearances’!
    • Maybe that goes for Tom Bombadil too —Tauriel
      I mean, he does have that thing about singing all the time.
    • He’s a farmer of the ‘managing my country estate’ variety….! (No Text)greendragon
    • Yup! Good one!! (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • He buys his overalls and flannel shirts at the Gap. (No Text)Morwen
    • of Rohan… 🙂 (No Text)DiamondTook
  • He often goes into the Old Forest… —Patty
    where he and Old Bombadil have a secret moonshine still. “Merry-dol ra boom de a-ding a ding dolly!” (hic!)
  • er, sorry, I have a question…. —Elfmei
    …always wonder what the meaning of “SCENES from the HAT” thread?
    • It means —Mrs. Boromir
      the equivalent of putting a bunch of ideas for a topic into a hat and drawing one. I had the same question long time ago and that’s what I was told.
  • Has his lads run off the competition at the local farmers’ market. (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
  • He raises THOSE kinds of mushrooms. (No Text)Mrs. Boromir
    • Ahh, so that’s why kids were always trespassing… (No Text)ceremony
    • Must have a shrine to St. Ro, then… (No Text)Celandine Brandybuck
  • “Farmer” is his real first name. (No Text)Wídfara
  • He is really a dwarf – why, you say? Well… —Tauriel
    …In Norse mythology dwarves were maggots that the gods gave human form, that’s why!
    • Interesting, Tauriel. —Mrs. Boromir
      Makes one wonder just how many hidden meanings there are behind the names of people, places and things in LOTR. But that’s another discussion all together.

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